As well all know, authors are not typically the most social butterflies. We would like to be left alone with our writing. However, in order to make the connections we need in order to continue making progress in our careers, networking is an absolute necessity.
Learning how to network is its own artform and if you haven’t done much of it, it can feel impossible and intimidating. As well as pointless. It often feels fake and false on the surface, too, since it’s connecting with people for a specific intent. However, everyone is going into that space with the intention of making connections that are of value to them. It’s not fake — the key is to make genuine and honest connections with people.
How the Hell Do We Accomplish That?
First, consider who you might want to connect with. For example, as an author you might want to connect with agents, editors, and publishers if you’re looking for traditional publishing. Both traditional and self-publishing authors benefit from developing relationships with authors in your genre and in your sphere of publishing. Some of the best connections you can make are people who are a few steps ahead of you in your journey. They’re close enough to where you are to remember what it was like but far enough ahead that you can learn from them. You also want to connect with readers in your genre!
Good quality networking isn’t just making random connections with anybody and everybody. It’s curated and specific.
Now that we know who you are trying to connect to, the next question is “how the hell do I do that?” If you’re at a physical event, striking up conversation organically is probably the best way. There are two primary ways to do this. First is to find someone who is not otherwise occupied and introduce yourself. The other is to find a group who is having a conversation that interests you.
The “small talk” element of this is better phrased as “how to get to know people.” When in doubt, there are a few topics you can almost always come back to if you’re talking to readers or writers: people’s pets, what genres they like to write/read, what their favorite books are and why, who their favorite authors are… you can see a theme here.
The key thing here is to ask people questions about things that could be shared interests. You can also talk about neutral topics like the weather, sports, music, and so on. These are typically safe things to discuss.
The Goal of Small Talk
Small talk feels worthless a lot of the time, but there’s a purpose to it. The topics chosen are pretty mundane and focus on simple things everyone can relate to. They’re things with which there’s very little contention. Your goal here is to establish a rapport with the person through surface level shared interests. Obviously for writers and readers, their favorite books and other such things are an easy point of connection.
Once you have established that you have commonalities with the person (say you share a favorite author or write in the same genre), you can delve a little deeper into the discussion since you know they can engage with that topic. However, your goal with small talk is to find initial points of connection to allow for a more robust conversation.
For example, if I’m at a party with someone and ask them what they do for work, and they tell me they’re a bricklayer, I have very little in common with that. I might ask more about their work because I am always curious about things and want to learn more, but I have little I can respond with. However, if that bricklayer also has a cat, we can talk about cats and bond over that. They might also like video games and enjoy some of the same titles I do. Even if they don’t play the same games, we can talk about games in general and find some commonality.
Your whole job in these situations is to find the places where you and the other person can share something about one another.
The Next Step
Once you’ve established you have some kind of connection between yourself and the other individual, you can get a little deeper. Talk about the topics where you have overlap and see where you have more commonalities. Continue asking questions and showing genuine interest in a person. This isn’t a cold, calculated thing. Being honest and real is important here. False connections and being fake is pointless and will bite you in the end.
The initial connection is key, and once you have that, you can exchange business cards, friend/follow one another on social media, or whatever it is you choose to do. Once you’ve done that, follow up with the person in a reasonable time frame. If you’re at a big conference, you can follow up once you get home. If you’re at a mixer that’s one evening, you can send them a message the next day.
The follow-up is important because it shows that you were intentionally connecting with them and that you remember them sufficiently to want to follow up. It demonstrates that you value the interaction. Again, this should be honest and genuine. If you don’t want to stay connected to that individual… don’t. Simple enough. Don’t force things that don’t feel right or where you just weren’t feeling like you found common ground. It’s okay to realize that a connection just plain isn’t going to be something you want to pursue.
If this sounds like dating, you’re not entirely wrong. You’re exploring connections with other human beings to see if you want to engage in a deeper relationship. However, instead of romantic, you’re looking at this from the perspective of your career. Developing relationships with people is something that will make your author career or break it. As is so often said, “It’s not what you know, it’s who you know.”
That fact is immutable and true on every level. I have spent sixteen years honing my skills as an editor professionally, but I never really “broke into the business” until I started talking to other editors and getting to know people. Networking is something that cannot be underlined enough in regards to its value.
Final Notes
Throughout this process, I’ve repeatedly emphasized the importance of honesty here. You are making real connections with real human beings. If you approach this with a “quantity over quality” mindset, it won’t work. You also can prioritize certain individuals who can help you in your business, but this should be done honestly. The thing is that everyone at a networking event or conference or what have you is there to do the same thing. While networking can produce very real friendships, if you’re at a networking event or in a space where people are making those kinds of connections, the understanding is that everyone is there to do that.
It’s sort of like how if people are all at a speed dating event, everybody has agreed to those terms and understands what the expectations are. If a married person is going to a speed dating event to make platonic friends, they’re in the wrong room. While this is a social transaction, it’s being signed onto by everyone involved in a consensual way. When you exchange business cards with someone, it’s understood that you are genuinely making that connection, but it is business.
Honesty, being forthright, and being curious and real will get you everywhere with this process, so make sure you lean hard into those things. You don’t need to be fake or false or superficial with people to make connections effectively. Quite the opposite, in fact.
This episode is too short to do it fully justice, but if you are curious about networking in the writing/editing sphere, I cannot recommend the book, Networking for Freelance Editors by Brittany Dowdle and Linda Ruggeri highly enough. It covers all of this in a warm, caring way. Having networked with Brittany and met her a few times, I can say she is exactly what one would hope, and their advice is top tier.
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